Did You Call Her Back? It’s Time to Follow Up.

Meeting Once Is Never Enough

You met her at a conference. You had a great conversation. You exchanged contact information, connected on LinkedIn, and perhaps even said those familiar words: “We should definitely stay in touch.”

Then life happened. The conference ended. You went back to your business. She went back to hers. A week passed, then two. Before you knew it, months had gone by, and the woman you were convinced you needed to know became another name in your contacts.

So let me ask you a simple question:

Did you call her back?

Because meeting someone once is not networking. It is an introduction. The relationship begins after the introduction. We spend an enormous amount of time talking about the importance of getting into the room, making the connection, exchanging the business card, and building our network. But we don’t talk nearly enough about what happens after we leave the room. The follow-up, the simple “touch base”—may be one of the most overlooked and most valuable parts of building meaningful professional relationships.

Harvard Business Review has specifically highlighted the importance of following up after networking, noting that failing to do so can mean missing opportunities to develop potentially valuable relationships. Their recommendation is straightforward: thank people for their time, reference the conversation you had, and find a reason to continue the relationship. The point is not complicated. The networking event creates the possibility. The follow-up creates the relationship. And that distinction matters.

A Connection Is Not Yet a Relationship

We live in a world where it is incredibly easy to collect connections. LinkedIn makes it possible to accumulate thousands of contacts. Social media allows us to follow people we have never met. Conferences can introduce us to dozens, sometimes hundreds, of new people in a single day.

But a contact isn’t necessarily a connection, and a connection isn’t necessarily a relationship. A contact is a name and a phone number. A connection is someone you have met or interacted with. A relationship is different. A relationship develops when two people begin to understand one another, trust one another, remember one another, and recognize ways they can create value together.

That takes time.

It takes repetition.

It takes conversation.

It takes follow-up.

Research supports the importance of these networks. A large-scale study of more than 20 million people examined how professional connections influence access to new opportunities and found that so-called “weak ties”—people we know, but do not know particularly well—can be especially valuable in creating access to new employment opportunities. The findings are a powerful reminder that opportunity does not always come from our closest relationships. Sometimes it comes through the person we met once, the person we occasionally interact with, or the person who happens to remember our name when the right opportunity appears.

But there is an important caveat: people can only remember you if you give them a reason to.

That is where the follow-up comes in.

Women Need to Stay Connected

For women leaders, executives and entrepreneurs, staying connected is more than a networking strategy. It is an important part of building the professional ecosystem around us. Research into women’s professional networks continues to demonstrate the value of relationships, access, and social capital in career advancement.

One field experiment involving women attending an information technology conference found that women, on average, made fewer new contacts and spent less time networking than men. Researchers also found that relatively simple interventions encouraging women to engage with a broader range of contacts could increase networking activity and improve professional outcomes. The takeaway isn’t that women don’t know how to network.

The takeaway is that we need to be intentional about how we build and maintain our networks.

Getting into the room matters.

Knowing who is in the room matters.

But what happens after you leave the room may matter even more.

Because that is when a conversation can become a relationship.

The Power of the Touch Base

There is something almost deceptively simple about the phrase “just checking in.”

It doesn’t sound strategic. It doesn’t sound revolutionary. It certainly doesn’t sound like a business development plan.

But it can be incredibly powerful.

“I’m thinking about the conversation we had.”

“I saw this article and thought of you.”

“Congratulations on what you’re building.”

“How did that event go?”

“I wanted to introduce you to someone.”

“I would love to continue our conversation.”

These aren’t necessarily sales messages. In fact, they may have nothing to do with selling.

They are relationship messages.

That distinction matters because one of the fastest ways to weaken a professional relationship is to reach out only when you need something. If every message is an ask, eventually the relationship begins to feel transactional. But when you stay connected between asks, when you celebrate someone’s accomplishments, share something useful, make an introduction, offer encouragement, or simply check in, you create something much more valuable.

You create familiarity.

And familiarity creates trust.

Don’t Assume Silence Means No

There is another reason we need to become better at following up: we are often far too quick to interpret silence as rejection.

You send the email.

No response.

You send a LinkedIn message.

Nothing.

You leave a voicemail.

Silence.

And almost immediately, we tell ourselves the story: She’s not interested.

But silence doesn’t always mean no.

People are busy. Emails get buried. Meetings run long. Priorities change. Someone may intend to respond and simply forget. A person may be interested in continuing the conversation but not have the bandwidth to respond that day—or even that week.

Of course, there is a difference between persistence and pressure. We should never ignore someone’s boundaries or continue contacting someone who has clearly indicated that they are not interested. But one unanswered message is not necessarily a rejection. Sometimes it simply means: Follow up.

Following Up Is Not Chasing

Women, in particular, are often encouraged to be careful about how persistent we appear. We don’t want to be perceived as pushy. We don’t want to take up too much space. We don’t want to “bother” someone. But there is a difference between being pushy and being professional. Following up does not mean demanding someone’s attention. It means being intentional about maintaining a relationship you believe has value.

There is nothing aggressive about saying, “It was wonderful meeting you. I’d love to continue our conversation.” There is nothing presumptuous about sending someone an article connected to something they told you they were working on. It’s not inappropriate to check in after someone launches a business, accepts a new position, speaks at an event, or reaches an important milestone. In fact, these small gestures can be among the most meaningful ways we show we were actually listening.

The touch base says: I remember you.

And in an increasingly noisy professional world, being remembered matters.

Stop Waiting for the Perfect Reason

One of the biggest mistakes we make is believing we need a compelling reason to reach out. We don’t. Sometimes we convince ourselves we need something important to say before we send a message. We need an opportunity. A proposal. A referral. A collaboration. A question. But relationships aren’t built exclusively through major moments.

They are built through small moments repeated over time.

A text.

A phone call.

A coffee.

Congratulations.

A forwarded article.

An introduction.

A “How are you?”

A “How did it go?”

A “I saw this and thought of you.”

These moments may feel insignificant individually. Collectively, they create the foundation of a relationship.

And relationships compound.

The woman you check in with today may become the person who introduces you to a client next year. The woman you encourage today may become your future business partner. The person you met at a conference may eventually join your board, invest in your company, hire you, refer you, collaborate with you or introduce you to someone who changes the trajectory of your business.

You cannot predict which relationship will become important.

That is precisely why you nurture them.

Build Your Relationship List, Not Just Your Contact List

Perhaps we need to rethink the way we measure our networks.

How many LinkedIn connections do you have?

How many followers?

How many business cards are sitting in your desk?

Those numbers may tell you something, but they don’t tell you the real story.

A better question might be:

Who have I stayed connected to?

• Who did I meet six months ago and never contact again?
• Who did I promise to call?
• Who have I been meaning to invite for coffee?
• Who is doing something interesting that deserves my support?
• Who helped me recently?
• Who could I help?
• Who did I meet and immediately think, I need to know her?
• Start there.
• Send the message.
• Make the call.
• Schedule the coffee.
• And then do it again.

Women Building Women’s Ecosystems

At THIS IS IT NETWORK™, we talk frequently about the importance of women building ecosystems rather than operating in isolation. That ecosystem isn’t created simply by putting women in the same room. It is created when women continue to show up for one another after the room clears.

• We introduce.
• We recommend.
• We collaborate.
• We mentor.
• We share resources.
• We celebrate.
• We open doors.
• We make the call.

And sometimes, we simply check in. Because connection isn’t a one-time event. It is a practice. The strongest professional ecosystems are not built from a single handshake. They are built through hundreds of small decisions to remain connected.

That is how a conference conversation becomes a collaboration.

How a collaboration becomes a partnership.

How a partnership becomes a community.

And how a community becomes an ecosystem capable of creating opportunities that none of us could have created alone.

So, Did You Call Her Back?

• Think about the last woman you met who made an impression on you.
• The entrepreneur whose story stayed with you.
• The executive who shared an idea you couldn’t stop thinking about.
• The woman who told you about a project she was building.
• The person you connected with over coffee, at a conference, on a panel, at an event or through someone you both know.
• If you haven’t spoken to her since, this is your reminder.

Call her back.

• Not because you need something.
• Call because the conversation mattered.
• Call because relationships need attention.
• Call because opportunity often lives inside relationships that have been intentionally maintained.
• Call because women need one another.
• And call because you never know what can happen when two women decide not to let a good connection go cold.

Meeting once is never enough.

• Stay connected.
• Touch base.
• Follow up.
• Check in.
• Make the introduction.
• Keep the conversation going.

Because sometimes the difference between a missed opportunity and a meaningful one isn’t another conference, another business card, or another LinkedIn connection. Sometimes, it’s simply this: You called her back.